I don’t even know what to call this season of my life because honestly, I have no idea what’s happening. I’ve spent so much time meditating on the promises of God—holding on to His Word, forming expectations of how things would unfold—only for it to look nothing like I imagined.
The crazy part? The very thing I feared, the thing I prayed wouldn’t happen… that’s what came to pass. And now I find myself asking, “God, why?”
I used to see things so clearly. I had plans, purpose, direction. But lately? Every time I think I’ve figured it out, God flips the page and says, “Back to the drawing board.” And if I’m honest—I’m tired.
Tired of trying to figure out my next move.
Tired of trying to understand what God wants.
Tired of trying to make sense of what doesn’t make sense.
So here I am, hands lifted, heart surrendered.
Maybe… this is exactly what He’s been waiting for all along.
Because every time something didn’t work out, and disappointment settled in, I could hear God say, “Perfect.”
At first, I didn’t get it.
How could my plans falling apart be “perfect”?
How could losing what I wanted be part of His will?
But now I see it—He was never trying to destroy me. He was trying to end me—the version of me that depended on my own understanding, my own timing, my own plans.
He wanted me empty… so He could fill me.
He wanted me surrendered… so He could lead me.
He wanted me broken… so His glory could shine through the cracks.
And here’s the truth I’ve had to learn: just because God is calling you to trust Him doesn’t mean you’re confused. There’s a difference.
Confusion says, “I don’t know who God is.”
Uncertainty says, “I don’t know what God is doing, but I still know who He is.”
Confusion produces chaos.
Uncertainty produces dependence.
Faith often feels like walking with your eyes closed—not because you’re lost, but because you’ve chosen to let Him lead. You don’t always get the full picture; sometimes all you get is one step… and that’s the point.
God isn’t trying to confuse you—He’s training your trust.
He’s not trying to make you doubt—He’s deepening your dependence.
He’s not trying to hide His plan—He’s helping you learn His voice.
So if you find yourself in a season where you don’t know what’s next, don’t mistake uncertainty for absence. God is right there—not shouting over the noise, but whispering, “Follow Me anyway.”
Because the truth is, faith doesn’t always look like confidence—sometimes it looks like trembling hands and tear-filled eyes still lifted toward Heaven saying, “I trust You anyway.”
This is the faith that moves mountains. The kind that walks even when it can’t see. The kind that doesn’t need to know the plan—just the Planner.
This is the end of me… so that He can begin.
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